So…
Tanner and I are back in Minnesota, in our own house, without the girls, which is all rather strange. It feels terribly familiar and yet half empty at the same time. It’s odd being back here, after all we’ve been through. And we left this house thinking we’d never come back to it.
I will say this…all the one-on-one time with Tanner might be exactly what our relationship needs. He and I are both introverts, both not given to excess verbosity. So, the house is kinda quiet most of the time. And yet when I’m not working, I’m able to devote my attention to him and I’m trying to make this time special for him.
Rain…
Yeah, it’s been doing a lot of that lately. Both here and back on the island. I think the girls are getting the worst of it from what I hear… non-stop deluge for them. Michelle reported that a few days ago when she went to get Andi from school, the rain was so intense that the hillside between Colebay and Philipsburg had turned into a giant mud slide, and she feared for her life driving over it.
Baseball…
Team Practice
Most of Tanner’s free time these days is consumed with baseball. He joined a team that is part of the Gopher State league, a traveling league with teams all over the state. These people take this sport seriously and keep the kids mighty busy. He has games two to three days a week, some of them an hour away, tournaments about every other weekend, and practices in-between. Last week when he came home from school on a would-be game day, I told him that his game was canceled because of the rain. He collapsed on the couch and said, “Thank GOODness! A day off!” Even the kid who loves baseball is being taxed by this schedule.
Watching a teammate bat. Tanner is #20.
Other than the time demands, I’m impressed with the program. His coach is fantastic… patient, good with the boys, a great teacher, and a natural athlete. Tanner is a bit rusty after a year and half of hardly swinging a bat or picking up a glove, but it’s coming back quickly.
Goofing around between games
Carina and School… 5th (and last) semester of classes!
By far the most common question I receive when visiting with friends, family and neighbors is: “How’s Cari doing?” I always appreciate the question, but never really know how to answer. The best, short answer I can give is, “She’s incredibly stressed.”
I recall vividly a conversation we had with Mike and Cheyenne McGlue the very first day we arrived on the island, which would have been December 31st, 2011. We sat in their Range Rover in front of our condo complex waiting for the land lady to show up with keys. Mike was just starting his 5th semester, and Carina and I both viewed his 5th semester status with no small sense of awe and reverence.
“Believe me”, said Mike. “It goes fast.”
I flat out didn’t believe him, and neither (she told me later) did Carina.
But, now, here she is. I asked her a few days ago what it feels like being the oldest class on campus. She said it’s funny to watch the faces of the 1st semester student when she meets them. When she says she’s a 5th semester, they suddenly give her a wide-eyed look of amazement, and she says to them, “Believe me, it goes fast.”
Carina in Class
The Big Test…
All that aside, none the less, this semester brings a whole new level of stress like none before it. In addition to keeping up with the normal class load, you also need to begin, in full earnest, prepping for the USMLE Step 1 exam.
Side Note: The USMLE Step 1 is an exam that all medical students who want to practice medicine in the US must take in between their second and third year of med school. If you flunk it, BAM… you’re out. Done. (The good news is that AUC has a 96% pass rate.) And if you pass it, your score will play heavily in the the type and quality of residency program for which you will be picked two years later, after graduation.
Every 5th semester we have known has had one thing in common: Absolutely ZERO free time. At all. None. They usually do a good job of carrying (or hiding) their stress (I’m sure the previous four semesters helped). But yet the stress and crunch is still incredibly real. The previous four semesters are like a crescendoing storm, all building up to this. (If I could add theme music to this post, it would be Bolero by Maurice Ravel).
I have no doubt that Cari will do just fine, I have full confidence in her. But as I’m sure you know, having confidence in yourself is sometimes hard, and she is no exception.
Final Note…
For Tanner and I, the Island Adventure has come to an end. I will spend one more week down there when Andi is done with school to help the girls pack up, and then bring Andi home. As this chapter of life is coming to a close, I am feeling something I’ve only ever felt twice in my life before: When I was 16 and moved back to the US after two years in Morocco, and when I was 21 and moved back to the US after two years in France.
It’s hard to put this feeling into words, but I’ll give it a shot: I feel a melancholy, almost sad sense of being suddenly normal again. Like something monumental has just come to an abrupt end, and now you’re standing around asking yourself, “How do I go back to being the person I was before all this began?”
And this is compounded by the feeling that I was kinda robbed of the full 20 month experience that I had been expecting, and by the fact that this hasn’t been an easy experience for Andi and Tanner. Lot’s of mixed emotions, all of which make me feel like this little guy…
It’s okay. Life is good.
We’re moving forward and curious to see where the next two years will take us. And in the meantime, Tanner and I bend our thoughts and prayers to the girls and their last few weeks on the island, and especially to Carina as she plows through 5th semester.
And in the mean time, I can’t express my gratitude enough to friends who are helping out along the way. A big group of guys helped unload the heavy furniture from storage, good friends offered to let Tanner and I stay with them until the renters moved out, and more friends will watch him for the week I go to pick up Andi and help pack up the condo.
You are all awesome, and I am in your debt.
Thank you!
I know that melancholy well. After returning to Tampa from over a year in Venice, my wife and I cried. For four months. Four months. When we left Florida for Italy, we wondered how we would ever adjust to their lifestyle, but we did. Easily. Before returning, we wondered how we would ever readjust to the lifestyle in Florida. We never have. And it has been eight years. And we still cry on occasion.
Barry, thank you for the comment. And when I was writing about this, I was actually thinking about you, as I was fairly certain you would understand. I didn’t know it was eight years ago that you came back. The way you talk about it with so much passion, I assumed your return was a recent thing. I hope at some point you and Debbie will get to go back for longer than a week or two.
All I can say is I understand – you won’t ever go back to the person you were before the island experience. You will forever carry all the experiences with you and they will have a permanent affect on how you will live your life from now on. The same goes for the kids – as we continue through the process I am seeing the affects of the experience on the boys. It is all very positive. We are currently in Mexico and we are thriving in the simple life here in a small fishing village – exactly what we enjoy. Congrats to you all for getting to this point. You are right Cari will do just fine – and yes their self confidence is a mountain they must overcome!!!!!!
Best wishes to all of you – Cheyenne
Thanks Cheyenne. I knew you would understand and relate. I enjoyed the pics of Amsterdam and Mexico. What brings you to this little village?
This blog is great! I actually heard about it from Benji who also goes to AUC. So my question is: Now that you’ve made it as far as you have in your journey, would you and your wife do it all again the same way? I ask because I am getting ready to apply to schools this cycle, and genuinely want the experience of living abroad with my wife and one year old son. In all reality, I could probably get accepted into a DO school here in the States, but I feel like I would always look back at the missed opportunity of living in the Caribbean. What are your wife’s feelings towards the residency outlook in the next couple years? Thanks so much for all the awesome info!
Hi Dallas, I just wanted to acknowledge your comment. I’m walking out the door to take my kids to the beach, and when we get back I’ll compose a reply.
Ok, I have a little bit of time, so I thought I’d sit down and answer your questions. First, I’m glad to hear Benji is sending people to our blog! He is an icon around AUC, and his own blog is literally legendary.
Getting to your questions, you asked, “So my question is: Now that you’ve made it as far as you have in your journey, would you and your wife do it all again the same way?”
Ho wow, that’s a hard question. It’s been a tough slog for us this part year and a half. But then again, our challenges have been uniquely ours. Health issues, job issues, etc. I really don’t know how to answer that question, and as it’s rhetorical anyway, I hope you don’t mind if I just answer the question I think you really meant to ask: Would I recommend it for you, your wife, and son?
Career wise, I would say this: If there is ANY chance of getting into a U.S. M.D. school, then you need to exhaust that possibility until it’s dead, dead dead. If it is dead, and if the only options left are D.O. schools or Caribbean M.D. schools, then you have a choice to make. This is pretty much where my wife was at a couple years ago, and for us, it came down to one simple decision: She wanted M.D. after her name, and not D.O. And like you, I was *all* about spending 20 months in the Caribbean.
Can you guys do it? Absolutely! But I also have to be honest with you about what you have to look forward to. Everyone thinks of the Caribbean as this tropical paradise where it would be blissful and surreal to spend 20 months. It CAN be that way, but ONLY if you are willing to seriously adjust your expectations and your life style. Yes, the beaches are stunning. But the rest of the island really isn’t. For the most part, it’s a dumpy, dirty, crowded little bump in the ocean that is all but a third world country. Crime can be a problem. The water goes out often. The roads are terrible. Food is expensive. I mean, really, really expensive. If you want to live near school, rent for families (who can’t share with a roommate) is outrageous. If you are living off student loans alone, you will be poor. Dirt poor. The largest problems that spouses face is boredom. Beyond the beaches, there really isn’t much to do that most families can afford.
The families we have met down here who have truly *loved* their experience all have one thing on common… they find something to do that they love which is either island or AUC related. One family worshiped the beaches, and the would spend all day every day surfing, snorkeling, swimming, tanning, and playing in the surf. Some become *very* involved in the AUC Spouses Org, conducting fund raisers, cooking, teaching work out classes, etc etc etc. Others get jobs as fake patients at AUC and then spend the rest of their time developing hobbies like photography or playing guitar. Any way you go, your wife will need to find something to keep her occupied. Being a mom to a one year old will help for sure, and there will be other moms with kids around the same age. But still, be prepared for 20 months of not much to do on a very small island with nothing much going for it other than the great beaches.
I don’t want to sound like a downer. Like I say, you can absolutely make it the dream experience you are imagining, but in order for that to happen, you’ll need to be realistic about what to expect. If you don’t mind a ssllooowwww pace of life, living in a third world country, sharing your living space with bugs spiders lizards and roaches, and spending lots of time at the beach, then you will love it here. It mostly comes down to attitude. Those who want it to be America and constantly compare it America end up frustrated, bitter and angry by the time they leave. Those who come here determined to love it, love it. So, pretty much, your call 🙂
You also asked, “What are your wife’s feelings towards the residency outlook in the next couple years?”
Great question, and one that you need to ask. This is a legitimate concern, and is only getting worse. Not too long ago, every year residency spots went empty when the match process was over. But then, congress ordered all US based med schools to increase enrollment by 30%. They gave the schools time to ramp up. And now, today, that ramp up period is over. The result is that where once there were always residency spots that went empty, now it’s the opposite. When the match is over every year, a certain percentage of students end up with no residency. Some residency admission boards are openly bias against foreign (including Caribbean) schools. They will flat out state, openly, that they will not even consider applications from foreign schools. Others, on the other hand, truly do not care. They care about the applicant and not the school. Each school publishes the results of their students residency placements, and every year, a few (as in 1 or 2) AUC students land some of the top and most coveted residency programs in the country. Most get matched somewhere, and a few don’t match at all. But where and if you match has *so* much to do with your people skills and the impressions you make in your 3rd and 4th year while in rotations. And of course, your STEP 1 score in-between 2nd and 3rd year.
Bottom line on my wife’s residency changes… I’m not worried. Not even a little. No, she will not get picked by any of the hospitals that discriminate against Caribbean schools. But who cares. There are enough others out there that it’s a non issue *IF* you have good people skills and *IF* you get a good STEP 1 score.
I hope I’ve done a good job of answering your questions. If you have any more, please feel free to email me. caseycrookston@gmail.com.
Thanks Dallas!
(P.S. If you want to read some of the experiences from a family with kids who absolutely loved their time here, check out this blog by Cheyenne McGlue. She commented above too.)