Yesterday I received the following Facebook message from my sister, Rebecca:  “I’m trying to figure out where you live right now.  Did you get a job that lets you live in St Martin’s? Or are you just visiting? What are school plans for Cari? And how is Andi doing? I guess I’m hoping for an all-around update on life.”

And Rebecca isn’t the only one who has asked us the same thing, so I figured I’d set the record straight.

Yes, I have a fantastic job (with great people) that is 100% remote, meaning I can literally work from anyplace that has a solid and reliable internet connection. I’ve had this job since the end of October, 2012.  So, the obvious question is: Why have Tanner and I not been on the island since I’ve had this job?  

The answer is, in short, Tanner.

He was enrolled in school in Minnesota, taking guitar and baseball lessons, and living with his nephew Tommy.  He didn’t want to go back, and I didn’t have the heart to force him. However, after Carina, Andi and Piper came home from Christmas, I think Tanner realized just how much he missed the rest of his family, and not long after they went back to the island in early January, he began to hint that he wished he was on the island.

It took a while to work out the details… How long could we go? What about school?  I had some long conversations and traded a lot of emails with this teachers and principle, and together we came up with a plan.  His Jr. High has four quarters a year, and we agreed that Tanner would essentially home school for the third quarter.

Even though he would be gone long enough that they would have to un-enroll him,  they agreed to let him keep his textbooks and to help via email if we had any questions.  Most of his teachers post all their home work and class schedules online, so we could follow along.

So, for this third quarter, Tanner is being tutored by two spouses here on the island. My thanks and gratitude to Trisha Wright and Allegra Brodie for taking the time to prep his lessons, tutor him, and keep me updated on his progress. As of right now, the plan is for he and I to stay here until the first week of April, which is when fourth quarter and Little League Baseball   both start.  All in all, this will give us about nine weeks here on the island.

At least, that’s the plan for now.

Carina and School:

I’ve been bugging Carina for months and months (almost a year) to help contribute to this blog. I dunno… it’s like she’s busy with med school or something. I’ve come to realize that it’s not going to happen any time soon.  Yet by far the most common question I get asked these days is, “How’s school going for Carina?”

There is no short answer to that question.  But this is what I feel like saying: “If you really want to understand how she’s doing, you’ll need to enroll in med school yourself, move internationally to a small almost-third world island, deal with some serious medical issues with one of your kids, and have your spouse and one of your other kids leave for months at a time.  While you are at it, keep in mind that you are chalking up student loan debt at an alarming rate.  Ask yourself 500 times a day if you are doing the right thing, but then remind yourself that this question is pointless because the only way out is forward, so instead you fight off guilt that you’ve dragged your family into this mess to follow what you thought was your dream, but now seems more like a nightmare. And do all of this while trying to keep your grades and test scores up in med school, and while still trying to be something of a mom and wife.”

But, of course, saying that might cause a bit of awkwardness, so instead I just smile and say, “It’s hard, but she’s a strong person and is getting through it all.”

And she IS a strong person.  And she IS getting through it all.

The other day I met one of her professors, Dr. Tisdale who teaches pathology. I was camped out in a classroom working, and he kicked me out so he could hold class.  But before he booted me out, we chatted a little.  When I told him that my wife is Carina, you should have seen his face light up! “Oh, I LOVE Carina!” he said. “She is such a delightful person!”

And this is the reply I get everywhere I go.  Her classmates, her teachers, the support staff on campus… everyone I meet who knows her positively glows with affection for her.

And, I also know from past experiences that hard times like these eventually end up shaping us into better people. The time will come when she will look back on med school with a recognition that it was a hard time, but also with an understanding of the blessings that came as a result. I worry about her for the short term, but in the long run, I’m not worried at all.

An Update on Andi:

The good news is that there isn’t much to report.  When she was in Minnesota over Christmas she did another round of doctor visits, and they are now questioning their own diagnosis of Lupus.  They are leaning towards Autoimmune Hepatitis, which is a lot like Lupus, but, different.

As I understand it, they talk about Autoimmune Hepatitis much the same way they do about cancer, meaning although it’s not really “curable”, it can go into remission, possibly for the rest of your life, but you still need to keep watching it closely to see if it ever comes back.  But, the treatments for Lupus and Autoimmune Hepatitis are just about identical, so for now… nothing much changes.

In the mean time, I am incredibly pleased to report that on the happy-scale, Andi seems to be doing much, much better. She is such a natively happy, funny, cheerful person, and it’s a relief to see all that finally coming back!  I think being enrolled in school and finally making some friends there is helping measurably.

Future Plans:

Carina will be done with core science classes in August of this year… in six months.  We still don’t know where she will go next. And from everything we have heard, we might not know until just before we actually go there, which is kinda driving me nuts.  If it was just Carina and me, I’d look at this uncertainty with a sense of adventure.

But it’s not just me and Carina, and there are a lot of things to consider that really need to pre-planning to work… like… what do we do with out house when the renters move out in a few months.

Options:

– We are going to make a real effort to have Carina transfer to the  University of Minnesota. We know it’s a long shot, but we’re going to give it an honest attempt.  On Thursday of this week she is meeting with Dr. Yoshid, Dean of Academic Affairs, to plan out her transfer application.  Should this happens, it would solve a world of problems, including keeping Andi near the small team of doctors working on her case.

– England: If she cannot transfer, there is a very strong chance we will spend about a year in England starting in September.  Carina would do her core rotations there (OB/GYN, Surgery, Peds, Psych, and Internal).  She would then go back to the States to do the rest of her elective rotations.  Where this would be is anyone’s guess, but most likely….

– New York City, Miami or Michigan: These are the places you can go and do all rotations (cores and electives) in the same place. If we don’t go to England, one of these places is where we will most likely end up.  But unlike England, you can’t schedule a start date until after you have passed the USMLE Step One test, which means it would probably be January when we start.

So, what would we do for the first half of the school year?  I’m not at all thrilled about starting the kids in school in Minnesota and then moving them again half way through the year. Short version: We still have no idea, and we won’t for a while.

In the Meantime… Volunteering at the Free HIV Testing Clinic:

I thought I’d report on some activities going on since Tanner and I have been here.

On our first Saturday, both Andi and Carina spent much of the day volunteering at a free HIV testing clinic.  The organization that runs the clinic often asks the med students to volunteer, and the med students are usually happy to oblige. I didn’t bother to bring my camera as the testing is totally anonymous and I was pretty sure they would frown on me taking photos, but it was interesting to hang around and watch (I was on Piper duty).

Some students went out into the street and invited people passing by in for free testing.  I was surprised at how many took them up on the offer. Other students did some pre-testing counseling which included asking some deeply personal questions about their personal habits.   Then a runner (Andi) would take them to a testing station where they would have their finger pricked and blood tested.

On that day, they tested about 200 people and nobody tested positive.

Volunteering with At-Risk Kids:

There is a program on the island for kids who come from troubled homes that helps keep them busy after school.  Often the AUC students will volunteer some of their scarce free time to help provide them with activities, and last Saturday Andi, Tanner, Michelle and Carina all helped host a tie-dye t-shirt event on campus.

These kids are all members of a marching band, and about thirty of them came to school to play for a ceremony to celebrate the construction of a new building on campus.

After they played, they split into two groups:  One went to an oral hygiene clinic while the others made tie dyed shirts, and then they switched. Andi’s school assigns each of their students to do twenty hours of community service during the school year, and both of these activities (the AIDS testing and the tie-die event) counted.

New Tires:

With all the speed bumps and the potholes, this island is hard on cars, especially their tires, brakes, and suspension.  Our little island car needed new tires, and so Michelle enlisted her boyfriend and our security guard Pierre to help her find the right shop.  Two hundred and fifty dollars later, we had four new tires installed and balanced!

Ending On An Exciting Note: Piper is now totally potty trained!

Thanks to all our family and friends who have inquired about our well-being, especially Carina’s school progress and Andi’s medical updates.  We feel loved, and we are grateful to have you in our lives!

(P.S…. all the pics on this post were taken by Michelle.)